Confined

I’ve been feeling very confined lately (and not in the good way). My pain and fatigue levels have been really high over the past few weeks, and I have been struggling to get out of bed and move around. My mood has been tanking as a result. It’s hard to see the point in existing when existence is just pain and boredom, and I’m finding it hard to accept that this might just be my life now, though I’m trying to hang on as best I can.

We’ve also been rocked this week after my partner came home from a work meeting (which was supposed to be a support meeting, due to my disability) in which he was strongly encouraged to seek employment elsewhere. Given that we live in a house owned by his employer that would leave us with no choice but to move – the last thing on our list to do during a crisis. The loss of our community and stability here during this year from hell would be devastating to us and to our kids, not to mention the issues with waiting lists for mine and my children’s health care and our lack of financial resources.

So; this has been a particularly shitty week. I haven’t been feeling particularly sexy as a result, and the only #sinfulsunday happening has been in my mind, which is generally much filthier than my reality anyway. Anyone else find that moment between sleeping and waking in the morning is ripe for imagination and fantasy?