Reflection

Then a big thing happensand your body changes.You've got a new body.New body bits.And your mind struggles to know it. Michael Rosen I read an amazing poem this week by Michael Rosen, which is all about how it feels to live in a body that has changed. Our bodies are changing all the time of...

Beautiful

Last week, I tweeted this: "Sometimes when my life feels small and boring, and I feel like I have no power or autonomy, I open the hidden folder of photos on my phone and remember that I am brave and bold and wild beyond imagining." Living with chronic illness for the most part is an...

Waiting

Enough

Sometimes I find myself struggling with feelings of 'not enough'. Not just the background hum of 'am I enough?', which I have worked hard to banish as much as is possible, but a feeling of there not being enough of what I need. I am hungry for life, and living, and connection, and love, and...

Again

Every time I think I am beginning to make progress, something puts me right back here again.

Colours

A couple of weeks ago, I passed my first twitter anniversary as mywildlens. It has been a wonderful, life-changing experience, and despite my continued disability I feel like a completely different person now to the one I was last year, without colour or life. In part, I wanted to reconnect with my body, to learn...

Longings

So if you’ve been the recipient of my longing lately then I’m sorry ... it's just the build up of repressed desire seeping out of my cracks like air from a balloon on the cusp of bursting.

The Sex Diaries (8th March)

I send my partner a quick text to let him know that I’ll be done in ten minutes or so. We usually have lunch together around this time, and I’m just finishing up listening through the audio I was recording for GOTN’s audio porn project. He sends back a quick ‘K’, and I tell him...

Celebrations

This has been a really strange year for celebrations. All of them have looked very different to the way we imagined them, and for many people, me included, celebrating has had to become an exercise in creativity as we figure out how to celebrate when we can't go out or meet people in the way...

Knitting

I have always loved my hands. I have long fingers, and at one time they were strong too, and able to do amazing things. I loved playing the piano (and the viola, and the saxophone). I loved using them to make things, sewing, or painting, crafting, baking, gardening. Fucking. These days my hands are painful....